If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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