Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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