I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i just sent this text using only my big toe
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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