is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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