Can Purell be used as lube?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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