Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
