My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
