I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Lo siento on account of my penis...
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
