I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
barbara walters just said penis...
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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