If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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