And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
