wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
