good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
