Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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