So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
In other news, I just burned my penis
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
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