You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Panties = found
Randomize
