Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
