take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just found a bag of teeth...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Randomize
