Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
The adults are the big ones right?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
