I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
my sisters under your porch take her home
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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