he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize