You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I just want to make out with him forever
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
