I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
