doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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