just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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