covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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