just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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