you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
