i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
