He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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