Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
