Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize