Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
we're making bets on your personal life
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize