i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
