Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
We have started to decorate penises.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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