I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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