i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
