hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
