Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
