I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
