Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize