I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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