Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
