I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
