Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
