I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
