Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
