It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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