i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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