He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
do nipples grow back?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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