But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
