I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
