Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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