I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
