i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
