Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
