WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
My penis needs a shock collar
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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