i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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