Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Randomize