I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
