you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
