I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
